Do I have an Upper Limit Problem?
Do you have an Upper Limit Problem?
We all know the concept of self-sabotage; you want do something but for some inexplicable reason, you get in your own way. Why? One reason may be that you’re struggling with an Upper Limit Problem.
This concept was brought to light by Gay Hendricks and his book The Big Leap. It’s essentially an imaginary cap on the amount of happiness we want to allow ourselves. It’s our mind’s way of making sure we stay in our comfort zone.
We’re built to stay within our comfort zone; it’s been incredibly useful for our hunter gatherer ancestors to avoid being eaten by tigers in dark corner’s of the forest. But in today’s day and age, our tendency to avoid change, risk and growth keeps us stagnent. It’s what keeps us stuck in routines that drag us down and repetitive behaviours that halt our growth.
A lot of the time an Upper Limit Problem is associated with a limiting belief. Maybe you stay stuck in a job you hate because you live with the belief that “work should be suffering” or maybe your belief that “I’ll never find a partner” leads you to seek dead-end relationships.
How the upper limit problem manifests
You decide to make a change, to find you passion, get healthy or start a new project. Things are going well, you’re on track, then something comes up.
Maybe it’s a negative thought that says: “don’t get too excited, it’s all going to come crashing down soon” or maybe it’s something less obvious. Perhaps you find yourself procrastinating on another task right before the launch of your new project or you get sick the day of your final presentation. You were just about to cross to another level of happiness, but then you hit an upper limit and that stopped you in your tracks.
The Upper Limit Problem could also manifest when you’ve finally hit a new level of happiness, of success or of love that you’ve never had. For example you’re happy in your new relationship, yet something creeps into your mind to say “it’s too good to be true” or “it’s not quite right”. Your mind is looking for problems where there are none to make sure you come back down, back into your comfort zone.
Note that a comfort zone doesn’t have to be “comfortable” either. For years my comfort zone was staying as busy and stressed as possible. I didn’t want to allow myself time to rest, maybe because resting and enjoying the present moment was beyond my imaginary happiness cap, or beyond the Upper Limit I had imposed on myself. It’s still something I struggle with, but as I become more aware of it, I’m able to overcome this Upper Limit Problem, and say to myself “There is no Upper Limit, it’s imaginary. I will not stand in my own way.”
How can you overcome the upper limit problem?
The first step is always awareness. Anticipate that when your life starts taking a new positive turn, if you start making huge progress in your love life, your career, your health or any other aspect of your life, you might soon deal with an Upper Limit Problem. Take note of your thoughts, your attitude, your behaviours and when you start noticing something pulling you down - say “HA! Gotcha.” Remind yourself: “This is nothing but an imaginary limit. If I want to surpass it, it’s up to me. I deserve this.”
Embrace the discomfort associated with stepping out of your comfort zone and into a new realm of possibility. Accept the challenges, welcome the difficulties and remember that no one, not even your own mind, can put a cap on how happy you can be.
Put it into practice
What’s something that you really want, and have been wanting for a while now?
What are all the things that you repeatedly do that stand in your way from achieving this?
What limiting beliefs could be associated with this?
Choose to take responsibility for the cap you’ve imposed on yourself, and choose to go beyond.
Have you ever experienced an upper limit problem? Share your experience in the comments below.
If you’re looking to make changes in your life, step beyond your personal barriers, dismantle your limiting beliefs and finally reach what you desire the most, join me for one-on-one coaching. More details here.